New Year’s rambling

It’s that time of year again when I write a list of things I want to change and/or accomplish. In past years I was successful with a few like when I lost weight for a Biggest Loser challenge or the time I tried new things and found a love for sushi. There are also the years where I wrote long lists and inevitably didn’t end up accomplishing half of what I set out to do. Most of the time the failings weren’t that big of a deal, other times they were.

I can’t help but think of one failing, 13 years ago,  that changed the course of my life. I recently broke up with my somewhat high school boyfriend during my first term at college and thought that it would be best if I didn’t date for sometime. I actually made a resolution to not date until I made it into Law school. I went back to my dormitory from Christmas Break inspired to be a successful singleton in a world of couples. Day two of my resolution was foiled when a fellow dorm co-ed and I were the only ones who returned from break early. Three months later said co-ed and I started dating…13 years later we have a lovely little family and I can’t help but remember how breaking that resolution was a good idea.

There have been other broken resolutions however that have not been as profitable or accomplish worthy.

A quick rundown:

1) cuss less (2012 I chose February to focus on cussing less. I chose February since it’s the shortest month of the year which meant fewer days without my friendly F-bomb)

2) lose weight (2008, 2011, 2012–2 babies and 30lbs later, I am still trying to achieve this goal)

3) take care of my skin (2011/2012, wear more sunscreen; 2013, mole removed because I didn’t wear more sunscreen in preceding years)

4) eat better (Podcasts,, weight and cleanses have kept me busy…my addiction to sugar and warm, chewy goodness still captures my heart and my hand and my mouth and my belly and my thighs and my bum…you get the picture)

5) start and finish a project…finish being key (2011 crochet a wash cloth for my niece; 2012, my young adult novel, Until Then, my short story, “Mine,” and of course the half painted master bathroom remodel all beckon me late at night)

I have the same resolutions every year and I find myself revisiting them over and over again. I can’t help but wonder if I am now set in my ways, set in the way I do things, the food I eat, the words I speak, the moves I make…and don’t make, and the habits I foster.

So what’s “Orenda?” Why the eff (slim down cussing, not a resolution this year) did I choose this obscure word that no one has heard of as the main focus in my blog? I’m sure you are all sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for me to tell you…or have you already googled the word and found the definition on free If yes, you can stop reading here…wait, please don’t stop reading…I do actually want some readership. Okay, so here’s the definition:


[aw-ren-duh, oh-ren-]  


a supernatural force believed by the iroquois Indians to be present,in varying degrees, in all objects or persons, and to be the spiritual force by which human accomplishment is attained or accounted for.
I came across the word earlier this week, when coincidentally I was trying to find a name for my blog. One of my girlfriends posted it on her Facebook and the word just stuck with me. Factor refers to “One that actively contributes to an accomplishment, result, or process.” My hope is this blog will focus on spiritual change/destiny, spiritual force that is present in all of us and the change that will come because of it. Basically that driving power that is inherent in all of us and makes us want to act when we see something that needs to change. It’s the heart and soul of us that pushes us forward to make a difference. We all want to be known or seen or heard–that’s orenda. We all want to make a difference–that’s orenda. We all want feel we are special in some way and we’re trying to figure out how to capture our specialness–that’s orenda.
What better time of the year to put forth this sort of change, then in the beginning, when the slate has been wiped clean and we get to write a new number at the end of our checks…for those of us who still write checks.
My resolutions this year:
1) Make a change following the spiritual force within me.
2) Finish one writing project.
3) Lose 32lbs, since it’s year 32 for me.
4) Maintain this blog, bring in readership, stop watching Star Wars marathons on Spike while writing said blog.
That’s it. Four resolutions. Doesn’t seem too difficult.